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The Modern Domestic Woman: Referrals remain an important part of shopping for women

The challenge of finding a good matcha tea

Women are spending more than $150 billion annually, according to Dhanusha Sivajee executive vice president of editorial and marketing at XO Group in a Forbes article – and that’s a lot of spending power. In order to tap into female consumer purchasing, businesses are hitting close to home in terms of everything that matters to the Modern Domestic Woman. The emotional connection is what companies are after, just look at the recent Procter & Gamble commercial, “Thanks, Mom,” that aired during the 2018 Winter Olympics. As The Five Stairsteps song “Ooh Child (Things Are Gonna Get Easier)” plays, P&G features children from all different backgrounds and abilities and shirk gender biases to peel back what matters most – the pure unequivocal love of mom. While the #LoveOverBias campaign hit my heart as a mom and daughter of a strong and supportive mother, not every woman can connect with this commercial.

Of course businesses cannot cater to the nuances of every different kind of woman on Earth, we’d never get any work done, as women today grow more and more unique in preferences and interests. But there is a way to discover brands and companies that mirror our moral qualities and needs.

The referral

A recent Facebook inquiry seeking local establishments that served matcha tea was met with some help from community members but also a few suggestions that I just “Google it” to find a place near me that serves finely ground green tea. While Googling it is a natural reflex these days, this Modern Domestic Woman looks to her community for honest feedback. Plus, I wanted to discover something I’d never heard of before.

“As a working mom with three busy kids, I don’t have the time (or let’s be honest, the energy) to sift through the internet trolls to find what I’m looking for,” comments Batavia resident Danielle Marshall. “It’s far more efficient and valuable for me to call a friend, ask for a suggestion and trust her because most likely, she’s also a working mom with three busy kids.”

After the usual recommendations of Starbucks, Panera and a few local coffee shops, my Facebook community finally gave me what I was looking for – a new product from a small family owned business I’d never heard of.

Let’s dig a little deeper, shall we? Instead of relying on the Google gods, our own inner circle is at our disposal to review both the good, bad and the ugly. Here are three ways to spot a reputable friend and/or community member who not only stays loyal to her favorite businesses but is eager to seek out and recognize new talent to help her life (and the lives’ of her friends) run a lot more efficiently.

• You see her out and about at a variety of establishments, both in town and online.

• She doesn’t diss people. Instead, she boldly brags about the businesses and brands she loves.

• She’s not trying to sell you something, instead, she looks to engage you in conversation.

St. Charles resident Stephanie Donovan rang in during a recent coffee klatch about female spending and what she looks for in a trustworthy referral on her social feeds and circles.

“I can tell a good referral when I can relate to someone and trust her judgment,” Donovan said. “When she talks about her day-to-day routine, interests and habits, you think to yourself, ‘That’s just like me.’”

Smitten with domestic life but not to the point of unhealthy obsession, “The Modern Domestic Woman” author and St. Charles resident, Elizabeth Rago, is a freelance writer. You can visit her blog at or connect with Rago on Facebook at Feedback can be sent to

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